Old Ed'ard's Sayin's

This is a collection of words, expressions, remedies, and advice that were passed around in the List Family. No one knows for sure where all of them originated but I think a lot of them came from the family themselves. I have been collecting them for a few years now and decided to make a master list so that the members who would like them can have a list and add to it others I may have missed. Here goes.
Vocabulary List
"strong as acafortis" Strong water?
A wini foots
Don't know what it is? Call it a winifoots.
Unknown object. What ever you want to call it.
Huge. Monstrous.
Hoot nanny
a party. A festive occasion
Hoe down
A dance or party
Feeling so-so. Not good, not bad
As in a "mess" of green beans. Just enough.
A whole lot of something. A raft of wood etc.
This is a word Dad would give me to spell when I could spell all the words in my lesson. No idea what it means.
A hash. A mixture of things all together in a pot. Tasty!
Bread and milk together in a bowl. Crumb in? Uncle Raymond made this one famous.
A catastrophe.
A tomato
Also called "Matey"
A potato
Feeling squeamishly. Sick to your stomach. Squamishy also means overcooked, gooey. Make the connection. (Squeamish)
A disgusting mixture of ingredients. A mess. "You are making a momix".
Outdoor toilet
Short amount of time. In a whipstitch.
Pretty Darn Quick.
A loose woman.
Something good. "That's a doozie!"
A smart aleck little kid.
To put on a lot of something. Slather on the lotion.
Taken with. In love with.
Dip bread into the juices of meat. At Grandma's, it was the grease from fried pork, bacon, etc. The sop was the juices.
Old boots. Usually worn to work in the dirt. I remember hearing "take off those clodhoppers!" as a person came into the house.
Referred to the car. "Get in the machine."
Rotten smell.
A jakeleg
A drunk.
Puddle jumper
An inexpensive old car.
Nearly drunk.
Unlocked a lock without a key.
Slices. Sliver of orange.
Man who walked the alley calling out "raaags…raaags!" collecting old rags to sell and scaring the kids silly.
A disturbance.
A "stink" or BM. Made popular by Earl Palmer. (Maw)
Stick your hands into something messy. Glom into it.
Three sheets to the wind
Nearly drunk
Too much to drink
Turd fast
To be constipated
Hock a chickey
To cough. Came from Aunt Kitty
Tin Lizzy
Model T Ford
Just referred to any car.
Stir in a drawer. Look for something.
Crooked, messed up.
Rear-end. "Get your rinks in here!"(Rinktems another version)
Toe jam
The dirt between toes when socks removed.
Whistle britches
Corduroy pants. (Pants whistled when they walked.)
The top layer of fresh milk used to make cottage cheese.
Desire for something.
A nervous state.
Roll around
Get information from you. Wheedle it out of you.
Cow tit
Hen fruit
Goose egg
Knot on the head
Snaggle toothed
Missing or broken teeth
Spit bath
To bathe using the wash pan, soap, and water.
Slop jar
A pee pot
Out of kilter
Out of whack
Alternative to out of kilter
Wad of money
Handful of money.
"Good for what ails ya'"
You were about to be given something to eat you didn't want. Maybe caster oil
Showing off. Sacheting around.
Whip stitch
Every whipstitch, or once in a while.
Kicked the bucket
Give it a whirl
Try it
2 shakes of a dead cat's tail
I'll be there in 2 shakes of a dead cat's tail.
A mouthful of gimmee and a handful of take.
a user.
Crying. A bellerin' child. (Bellowing)
Bawl Bag
A person who complains or cries too much.
In a tailspin
Upset about something.
Someone who acts high classed.
Huge. A humdinger!
Goose Heaven
Where Santa took the bad kids on Christmas.
Bunkem squint
Yummy! Tastes as good as it gets.
Sow tit
A huge perfect blackberry.
Dern tootin'
For sure.
Slim pickins
Not much to choose from.
A festival. On top of the hill in Lawshe, a chitauqua was held each year.
Closed tightly. (chocked)
Very particular. (Pernickerty)
Big one!
Queedle rag
A towel or washcloth used only for expressed purposes. (Think about it.)
Lamb's leg
Runny nose
Bird's nests
Underarm hair
Piddling around
wasting time
Fleshy skin that hangs such as under the chin or under arms.
Being on one's period.
Drowsy or tired
Shouldn't (You ought not to do that)
Neck of the woods
A place. Up in that "neck of the woods".
Shanks Mare
walk or hike
Anxious; uneasy
perfectly- as in Smack Dab in the middle of something.
Lists have heard some or all of these expressions at one time or another in their lives. If you find any offensive, well, too bad. They are "straight from the horse's mouth" and meant to be funny.
Fried farts and pickled assholes
The disgruntled cook's reply to "What's for dinner?"
Go eat shit with the chickens!
Suggestion from the disgruntled cook.
Backwards or ass backward.
Bawling snot and water
Really crying hard.
Shakin' like a dog shittin' bones
Shakin' like a dog poopin' peach seeds.
Another version of nervous
Jumping around
Pig Turd Alley
The name of the street behind the old house at Lawshe.
Dry as a fart
Pretty dry.
Black as the ace of spades
Hold down the fort.
Keep an eye on the house by staying there and waiting.
Dumber than a barrel full of assholes
Not too bright.
Scarcer than hens teeth
Hens have no teeth! Very hard to find.
Naked as a jaybird
Naked as a bird's eye
Sick as a dog
Not feeling well.
Healthy as a horse
Very healthy
Red as a beet
White as a ghost
Green as grass
Soft as shit
Very soft.
Happy as a lark
Feeling especially well.
Kickin' up daisies
Tooth and nail
Resist with all you have.
Hot biscuits
Horse poop steaming in the road.
Mean as a snake
Very mean!
Mad as a hornet
Very angry!
Won't come out of his shell
Won't open up and talk.
Epizootic of the blowhole
A cold. Of course, all you doctors know this one.
Cool as a cucumber
Calm, cool and collected.
Your rear-end. "Fell down and busted my allamagooslem."
Got a fart crossways?
What is the matter with you? Someone who is cranky. Gayle always spelled it out, "p-h-a-r-t"
You look like death warmed over.
Not looking too well.
The part of the chicken that went over the fence last.
Description of the tail of the chicken, when cleaning the chicken to fry.
Guinea's ass, take a bite.
Angry reply to the question, "What is that?"
Raining cats and dogs
A downpour of rain.
Got up before the crow peed.
Out of bed early.
Went to bed with the chickens.
Went to bed early.
Slow as the old cow's tail.
Quite slow.
Step on a crack, break your Mother's back.
Game while sidewalk walking.
Slicker than snot.
(Self explanatory.)
One foot in the grave.
Getting old.
Hell bent to the election
In a big hurry.
Give up the ghost
Stop trying.
Bleed my geese
Excuse to go to the bathroom. (Aunt Kitty used to say that)
Go see Miss Jones
(Aunt Kitty alternative) Go to the bathroom.
Had a finger in the pie
Had something to do with it.
Dumb as an ox
Not to smart.
Dilly dally
Stall or hesitate.
Lettuce, turnip and pea
Three essentials in the old joke about the 3 main vegetables in a garden.
Whet your whistle
Get a drink.
Gimme doe
To ask for the first note when preparing to sing.
Kick up your heels
Been through the mill
Just about had all you can take.
When Shep was a pup
A long time ago.
Toad strangler
Downpour of rain.
Burr up your ass?
Are you riled about something?
Good for what ails you.
Something to make you feel better.
All in a dither
Upset about something.
Decked out
Dressed up.
Crooked as a dog's hind leg
That's a fine how do you do
Frustrating situation.
Tough as nails
Nothing upsets this person or thing.
Don't get your dander up.
Don't get all upset.
Just sit there on your butt like a bulldog.
Do nothing to help.
Flat as a pancake.
Describes anything flat. "Fall flat as a pancake!"
Get out the big pot and the little one
Prepare dinner.
Black your ass and go naked.
What to do when you have "nothing to wear."
Fly in the ointment.
Something suspicious going on.
Pig shit and hominy!
Something rotten in Denmark.
Something suspicious again.
Whole kit and kaboodle
Every one of something.
Rotgut whiskey
Bad homebrew whiskey.
Fit to be tied.
Very angry.
Clean as a whistle
Very clean.
Shit fire and turkey turds! -Expression of disgust
Out of kilter
Not right. Crooked.
Grinning like a skunk eatin' shit.
Out gallivanting around
Out running around with no purpose.
Make hay while the sun shines
Take advantage of a good situation.
Your goose is cooked!
You have had it.
Shit fire and save matches- Another angry disgusted remark.
Putting on the dog.
Show off. Your best behavior.
Sunday go to meetin' clothes
Your best clothes.
Flew the coop.
Deader than a mackerel
Cry me a handful
Tease a child when she is crying by holding a hand under her chin and saying this.
Turn of the tears.
Fake crying to get your way.
Groundhogs making coffee
Rising fog from the hills in early morning.
Santa Claus is making candy
A winter sunset when the sky is all colors.
The old man spilled the potatoes
Loud thunder.
The cream of the crop
The best of the group.
Rolled off like water off a duck's back.
Paid no attention.
Walk the straight and narrow
Stay out of trouble.
Rubberneck; shit a peck
Response to someone staring.
Didn't sleep a wink.
Didn't sleep at all.
Freckled as a guinea's egg
Lots of freckles.
Get your goat.
Let someone get the best of you.
Disturbance. Cause trouble.
Feel like you have been drug through a cow's ass backwards.
Had a very bad day.
Give more soup
More space or slack.
Tan your hide.
Suck the seed.
Just take what is left over.
Chompin' at the bit
Anxious to go.
Not worth a fart in a whirlwind.
No account.
Fly by night
Not dependable.
When Hell freezes over
Finger in the pie.
Had something to do with the situation.
You weren't dry behind the ears yet.
You were too young to remember.
Don't get yourself in a tizzy
Don't get upset.
Got your tit in the wringer
You are in a bad situation. (Wringer washer)
Black as coal.
Very dirty and black.
Have to pee so bad I can taste it.
REALLY have to pee.
Sawing off the logs.
Free as the wind.
Nothing to hold you back.
Now, you are steamboating.
Now you are getting it right.
John Henry
Your signature.
Jumped the gun.
Moved too soon.
Hit the hay.
Go to bed.
Got the big eye.
Can't sleep.
Big as a barrel
Big from pregnancy.
Can't shit in the snow.
You will be found out if you do something wrong.
The chickens always come home to roost.
If you do something bad you will get found out.
Words roll off like water on a duck's back.
Lies a lot.
Stupid person
Rag room
A storage room off the upstairs hallway at Grandma's house where she hung old and out of season clothing, etc.
Got you over a barrel
Got you right where they want you.
Smokes like a smokestack.
Smokes too much.
Petered out
The shit will hit the fan.
Trouble is about to happen.
Well, for crying out loud!
Surprise exclamation.
All in a dither
Nervous, upset and confused.
The cat's meow.
The greatest.
Aunt Annie's dog. (Just put that in because I liked it.)
Young know it all.
What time is it?
Two freckles past a hair.
What time is it?
"Milkin' time! Your bag a itchin'?" (Referring to a cow)
What time is it?
"Same time as it was this time yesterday, only a day later!"
Hotter than a mackerel
Wet as a mackerel
Wet. (Mackerel must have been a popular fish!)
You hit the nail on the head.
You got it exactly right.
Fiddling around
Wasting time. "Quit fiddlin' around!"
Conniption fit
Temper tantrum
The little end of the horn
The worst of a deal. "You came out at the little end of the horn."
Shitty end of the stick
The worst end of a deal again.
Get your come upins
Get what you deserve.
Bite into a horse (or hog) turd and get glad.
What you do when you are mad.
2 cheeks and no nose
A rear-end.
Were you born in a barn?
Reply"(no I was born in a horses ass were it opens and closes itself!)- (Conversation when a door is left open)
Ginny snapper
girl's private parts. (sometimes called "queedle"
Lies like a dog
Lies a lot.
When the cows come home
Smells like a slop bucket
Smells badly
Drinks like a fish
Drinks a lot
Slept like a log
Slept without waking
Laughed like a fool
Laughed hysterically
Name the 3 parts of a stove.
Lifter, leg, and poker. (X)
A lick and a promise.
A quick hair combing for a child. The mother licked her fingers and smoothed down the hair of the child. "Gave it a lick and a promise."
Pull on the puckerin' string
What you are told to do if you have to go really bad and have to wait on the privy.
"You got much neck."
Earl Palmer to John Fent as a little child. (I love this one.)
Can't see for looking
Can't see something when it is right in front of you.
Licking your chops
Anticipating good food.
Two shakes of a dead cat's tail
The time you promise to do what is asked. (Never)
Nonsense. "Quit the shenanigans!"
A switch
A twig from a tree used to correct the child. (Usually an idle threat.) " I'm gonna go cut a switch!"
Sugar wouldn't melt in her mouth.
Describing a deliberately sweet lady.
Can't hit the side of a barn.
Poor aim with a hammer and nail.
"Goose it!"
Pull the throttle of a car out to get it going.
You shit in your nest.
You made a mess of things so do something about it.
Fit as a fiddle
feeling good
Got a letter from turd
Let one. (Aunt Kitty)"Let a fart behind the cart and blew it all to thunder!"
My big guts are eating up the little ones.
Very hungry
Thicker than the fleas on a dog's back- Pretty thick.
Skinny as a rail
The cat's meow
Very special.
Flew the coop!
In a pig's eye
Not likely
Madder than a wet hen
Wet hens are pretty mad!
Shit fire and save matches!
Expression of disgust.
Sang like a bird
Excellent singer.
Naked as a jay bird
Dirty as a pig pen
Clean as a whistle
Extra clean
Straight as a pin
Sharp as a tack
Pretty as a picture- Pretty
Ugly as sin
Sly like a fox
Very cunning
Quiet as a mouse
Hard as a rock
Right as rain
Drank like a monkey
Drank a lot.
White as snow
Blue in the gills
Feeling sick.
Slippery as an eel
Deader than a doornail
Crazy as a bed bug
Quicker than a weasel
Thicker than pea soup
Stiff as a poker
Referred to a dead person or animal.
Stiff as a board
Referred to a dead person or animal.
Quick as a wink- Real quick
Black as pitch
Can't get any blacker.
Brown as a berry
Memory like an elephant
Remembers everything.
Sweet as pie
Likeable person.
Cute as a button
Higher than a kite
Weak as a kitten
Feeling faint
Fat as a pig
Really fat
Jumped up and down and clicked her heels together!
Pure elation.
Let the cat out of the bag
Told the secret.
Been through the mill
Worn out.
Get on your high horse
Think you are better than another is.
Put on your thinking cap
Think about it.
Lazy (do less)
You look like 2 burnt holes in a sheet
When someone is pale.
Flew the coop
Left home.
Wrap a spoonful of sugar in a piece of cloth. Add enough water to make it soft. Used to make a pacifier for a little baby.
Smooth Vicks Vaporub onto the child's throat. Use wool cloth to wrap the throat overnight.
Soda pop. Mix half vinegar and half water. Add a spoonful of soda and a spoonful of sugar until it starts to fizz. You must drink it while it is fizzing.
Uncle Clyde used to blow cigarette smoke into my ear for this. It really did work.
Eat a banana. (?)
Rinse with a teaspoon of vinegar and water.
Put Vicks salve up your nose.
1 teaspoon of Caster Oil! Aghhh!
Rub salt in the wound. (OUCH!)
Rub vinegar on it.
Drink sassafras tea.
Rub three different kinds of leaves together and rub on the rash.
Rub a penny on it, put the penny inside of a matchbox, throw the matchbox over your shoulder and don't look back. Whoever picks up the matchbox, will get your wart. Yours will disappear.
Bite into a hog turd and get Remedies
1 teaspoon of Caster Oil! Aghhh!
Rub vinegar on it.
  • Drink orange juice in the morning to "Get the cobwebs out."
  • Don't let a turtle bite you because it won't let go until it thunders.
  • Don't handle a toad. If it pees on you, you will get warts.
  • Make a face, and it will stick that way forever.
  • Don't cross your eyes or they will stick that way forever.
  • Want to see a monkey? Look in the mirror. (Who fell for that one?)
  • Eat or suck on your hair and you will get worms.
  • Spill the salt? Throw some of it over your left shoulder or you will have bad luck.
  • If you sew on Sunday, the devil will make you take all the stitches out with your nose.
  • Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.
  • Don't sing at the table or you will cry before midnight.
  • Opening an umbrella in the house will make you have bad luck.
  • If you go back home after something you forgot, sit down or you will have bad luck.
  • When your hand itches you are going to kiss a fool.
  • When your nose itches, company is coming.
  • Leaves turning inside out means it is going to rain.
  • If there is enough blue in the sky to make a pair of Dutchman's pants; the weather is going to be clear.
  • It the shoe fits, wear it. - If you did it, live with it.
  • If you bite your nails you will get worms.
  • Middle aged spread - When you reach middle age, you just gain weight. That is the "middle age spread."
  • Vegetables planted in the light of the moon grow upward and do well. If planted in the dark of the moon, they grow downward. Always plant root crops in the dark of the moon.